Thursday, August 01, 2013

A Couple Things I've Learned Recently

1.  I remember being on the phone with friends who are/were mommas of young children.  They'd constantly be interrupted and sometimes I couldn't even tell who they were talking to.  They didn't say "just a second" or move the phone away from their mouth.  They didn't tell their child(ren) to wait because they were interrupting her phone conversation.  It was constant and sometimes almost pointless for us to be talking.  I was okay with it, but not great with it.  In my head, I'd be "Um, why'd you call me?" or "Why are we still on the phone when it's been a five minute phone call and we've exchanged two sentences?"  Mainly, I thought, "Please train your children to not interrupt you.  Manners are important." or at least I thought something along those lines.

To some degree, I still think that.  If the interruptions are constant, I just schedule a time to call the person back.  However, if you and I are talking, and I need to talk with her, I've probably already asked her to wait at least five times with nonverbal signals of some kind.  I've tried to handle her needs/wants quietly while we're talking and still attempting to follow our conversation.  I do talk with her about waiting until I'm off the phone, but this type of training takes time and she's not there yet.

I promise I'm working on it.  Please keep calling me!  I WANT to talk to you!

2.  I have been embarrassed by "my" child's behavior in stores or when meeting someone new.  I want her to be polite and talk to someone I'm introducing her to.  I want her to walk quietly and not touch everything.  I want her to know her manners and use them.  I want her to not be silly when talking with you or the cashier or when I'm trying to talk with a store employee.  My first thought is, "She's only been with me ____ weeks!"  My next thought is "I'm TRYING to teach manners and appropriate behavior.  She's improving!  But we're not there yet!"  Of course, I can't say ANY of those thoughts.  My pride is taking the beating.  I've seen the store employee's eye rolls.  I can practically hear the muttering under the breath when our back is turned.  I've done it before, too.  I know!

I've learned to judge less.  Realize more often that I DON'T know the circumstances.  Sometimes, in all reality, that person with the whiny, silly, lacking-in-manners child is doing the absolute best she can.  I will give grace more often.  I will offer a helping hand more often.  I will smile when a momma is tempted to turn away in shame more often.  Sometimes, it just takes a little understanding.

1 comment:

  1. As mothers, we're all in this together. Grace and understanding is the LEAST we can do for each other and, more importantly, ourselves. Be kind to yourself, motherhood is a constant learning experience.