Thursday, September 05, 2013

A Journey and a Learning Process

Right now, life is hard.

The balance of school and life is hard.

The balance of work and life is hard.

Certain behaviors are more difficult to deal with than others.

The decision of which battles to choose and which to let go is a constant process.

I don't like being a Debbie-Downer.

I don't know what to say when people say, "How's it going?"  When I respond with, "We're transitioning to find a balance."  or I smile and say, "It's a journey and a learning process."  That's my polite way of saying I haven't pulled my hair out yet, but there have been many tears, much heart ache, and a lot of agony.

I'm a communicator.  The people that I need communication from do not think waiting several days or weeks (or months) is a problem when giving communication.  No, I'm not exaggerating.  I received a phone call today after I requested information 7 weeks ago.  I have followed up almost weekly via email or phone since my initial request.

One person met with us 2 months ago today.  I still have not heard any results.

Our schedule might explode soon.  Two meetings will happen next week.  Depending on the outcome of those meetings, we might have several meetings every week, filling our evenings.  I'm exhausted just THINKING about it.

I had enrolled her in a gymnastics program for the month of August, then found another one through the city that was 1/3 of the price.  I hadn't given the 30 days notice though, so I'm paying for another 4 sessions and now have the joy of figuring out when to go use those.  Again, exhausted just THINKING about it.

We're doing fine.  Really.  We are.  But, it is still a journey and a learning process.  Starting school meant a new routine.  Another transition.  We're both tired at the end of the day and have to work hard to continue to build our relationship.

It occurred to me on Tuesday morning that right now, what I'm craving the most is a moment alone.  I'm an introvert.  (Yes, I really am.)  I gain energy from being by myself, and I haven't had any time by myself...good, solid time, in a long time.  It's not going to happen any time soon.  I get that.  I still crave it.

Randomly....coming up with a blog post title is always the hardest part of writing a blog!


  1. I appreciate your honesty. You are strong and amazing! And God is working amazingly through you.

  2. Thanks, Heidi! So often I hear people say "Fostering is beautiful" and it is. But beautiful can also be painful. I entered into this as open-eyed as I could, but it's still harder than I thought it would be.