Every so often I think about moving back home to Plano.
Short aside: Home is such an interesting part of our lexicon, don’t you think? I do think of Houston as home. Every time I leave Plano, I refer to heading home. But every time I leave Houston, I call it “going home” too. Home is definitely a place. A place we feel loved, wanted, accepted and desired, at peace, comfortable.
Back to our regularly scheduled blog post:
My family is still in Plano and will always be in Plano. I talk with them daily. Sometimes multiple calls a day, depending on who calls whom and what we’re talking about. Dad might be traveling for work and wants to pass the time while he drives. He might be at his computer in their home office and have a software or social media question. Mom may be out on a walk in the neighborhood and want to chat. I may be in the car, on my way somewhere, and call one of them. Or cooking something new and need a piece of advice. Or chopping down something and need to know the tool to look for. Ang may be home by herself and want to catch up. We are entwined in each other’s lives… and I love it.
Holidays are always a good bonding time for us. Because we travel to Oklahoma City for the actual holiday, I’m usually not in Plano for very long, so we make the most of our time. Some years, when teaching has been particularly difficult or my emotional world has been in upheaval, it’s hard to return here after being there.
I remember Mom driving me to the airport at the end of one wonderful Thanksgiving break. I broke down in tears in the drop off lane at Love Field. I didn’t want to come back. I wanted to stay. The little girl inside of me, the daughter I always will be, wanted my mom to work her maternal magic and make it all work out. I never actually said those words, but that’s what I wanted. Instead, I had to act like the grown-up I had become and return to an uncomfortable situation.
Right now, I’m not in an uncomfortable work environment. In fact, this has probably been my easiest year of teaching yet. My content area did not change this year. My teaching partner is one I have worked with before and enjoy working with. I didn’t change classrooms either. For the most part, I have supportive parents and my students are angelic (compared to last year!)
However, I still have thoughts of returning to Plano. I was talking with Mom today. She was out walking in the neighborhood, something we did together every morning through my teenage years before work and school. It was cool, the wind was blowing. A storm was obviously coming in. I could picture it. Perfect weather for walking. And talking. We were together, except not.
Anyway, in our conversation I mentioned that I still think about moving to Plano occasionally. We talked about it for awhile. She mentioned a few situations that she’s thought, “Oh, if Alyssa lived here, we’d ______________.” Go shopping together. Meet for dinner one night. Help each other write our Christmas letters. Be walking buddies. Help each other with decorating decisions. Keep each other accountable for eating. Exercising. Be a helping hand we could call for whatever. Whenever.
So this brings me back to my post title. Today I’m thankful for honesty and openness in relationships. No decisions were made. No plans were put into motion. But Mom and I were open and honest about our thoughts and feelings. It was good to remember that everything we do, each decision we make, affects other people.