Gently entering into this space

So much has gone on in our country in the last two plus years.  Each time, my heart has responded.  I have not remained quiet, but neither have I known what to say.  How does one respond to a young man being gunned down in the streets simply because of his skin color?  What is one supposed to say when sexual assault is normalized?  Even laughed at?  And the names of the assailants are people I grew up watching on TV or hold positions I was raised to respect.  How does one wrap their minds around this devastation? 

How does one react?  With horror?  With speechlessness? 

What's the appropriate thing to do? 

Go to social media and argue?  No. 

Speak up when others are laughing?  Most definitely. 

But, how do we evoke change? 

The point is....SOMEthing must be said.  SOMEthing must be done.   SOMEthing must change.


I have always believed in respecting the office of the president...and I continue to hold that belief.  I am not here to debate whether he did or did not say something.  I am not here to debate whether you do or do not like him or his policies.  I'm not here to debate at all.

Instead, I want to introduce you to some friends. 

These smiling little girls are Ruth and Naomi.  I met them when I went to Haiti after the 2010 earthquake.

This is my friend, Zo.  He allowed the children in our group to be silly and cover him up with sand.  He drove us all over Jeremie, Haiti and did the hard work of hauling construction materials up a mountain so we could all work together to build a church.

And this is the beautiful view from the Jeremie, Haiti beach.  Isn't it gorgeous?  The water is clear blue and the beach is untouched.  For hours, we sat staring at the horizon and frolicked in the waves.

Haiti is a gorgeous country with a history for welcoming visitors, even before the United States of America was born.


Many of us take time in January to set goals.  We may choose a word to represent the coming year.  January is a time for renewal.  It is a time for reflection and a time to move forward.  That is something our country needs to do as well. 

Martin Luther King Jr wrote these words in "Letter from a Birmingham Jail". 

"I must make two honest confessions to you, my Christian and Jewish brothers. First, I must confess that over the past few years I have been gravely disappointed with the white moderate. I have almost reached the regrettable conclusion that the Negro's great stumbling block in his stride toward freedom is not the White Citizen's Counciler or the Ku Klux Klanner, but the white moderate, who is more devoted to "order" than to justice; who prefers a negative peace which is the absence of tension to a positive peace which is the presence of justice; who constantly says: "I agree with you in the goal you seek, but I cannot agree with your methods of direct action"; who paternalistically believes he can set the timetable for another man's freedom; who lives by a mythical concept of time and who constantly advises the Negro to wait for a "more convenient season." Shallow understanding from people of good will is more frustrating than absolute misunderstanding from people of ill will. Lukewarm acceptance is much more bewildering than outright rejection."

I don't want to be a part of the "white moderate".  I don't want to be someone who stands by and watches ANY person treated a certain way because of their skin color or their economic status.  I will NOT be silent.  I may not always say the right thing.  I will mess up and probably offend someone in the process.  I will learn from those mistakes and continue to speak out.

Because every child, woman and man deserve to be treated with dignity.  Why?  Because every single person, regardless of their skin color, was created by God and therefore worthy of His love.  If He loves them, then so do I.

Celebration

We had our Celebration service at church today.  We have this service quarterly and it is a time to Celebrate life: both physical and spiritual.  We celebrate the addition of children into a family, either through birth or adoption.  We also celebrate a person's decision to follow Jesus through baptism.  It is a sweet time for our church family to celebrate together.

Today we started with babies' pictures with birthdate and parents' names on the screens.  There is much ooing and ahhing. :)  Then, one of our pastors asked the parents to stand and people moved around them and laid hands on them in love and support and prayed for them to raise their babies to follow the Lord.  It is a sweet time of dedicating the little one to the Lord and praying specifically for fathers to lead well and mothers to seek the Lord for rest and wisdom.

As I looked around the room, tears came to my eyes.  I didn't know anyone dedicating their baby today, but it is such a space of unity.  Such a space of rejoicing as they are thrilled and proud to be holding their precious son or daughter.  It is also a space of heartache.  I saw men and women with empty arms wiping their eyes.  I saw husbands and wives clasping each others' hands tightly as a unified couple at the feet of Jesus and I knew they were begging him for the physical creation of life in their own home.

And, my own arms felt empty.  I long for the day I will hold a little one again.  I began to pray in earnest.  I began to seek His face for the exact moment.  The little one He has for me may be safe right this very moment.  Or, she may be dealing with neglect and an atmosphere of hurt.

Lord, thank you for your wisdom and timing.  Thank you for blessing each family today with new life.  Thank you for your love and your healing of those who are longing to hold a baby and you have said, "not yet".  Lord, I ask that you open wombs to conceive.  I ask that you open hearts to say yes to fostering and adoption.  I worship you, Lord, because you are worthy of worship and praise.  I thank you for who you are and what you are going to do.  In Jesus' name, Amen.

Blessed Be Your Name

We sang this song in church today.

Take a few minutes and listen to it.

It's powerful, right?



It was a reminder to me.  A reminder of how good God is.  He is the Creator of the universe.  He is the Supreme Being.  He created me.  You created you.  He created ethnicities.  He created cultures.  And countries.  He is good.  He is with us in tough seasons and in joyful ones.

I wrote this blog post over a year ago on the day J left my home to return to her biological family after being in my home for 8 months.  It was a tough day.  It was a tough season.  He was with me.

I am looking forward towards being a foster mom again.  I'm not there yet.  Foster parenting is a hard road to walk, but the Lord has instilled this passion inside of me for the fatherless and even when tough, it is a sweet place of joy to know I'm doing what the Father has called me to do.

So, as we sang this song this morning, I pondered.

I'm not walking a tough season right now.  Oh, sure.  I'm starting a new job.  I'm changing schools and grade levels and managing a side business and jump-starting a foster mom support group,  But, I'm not walking a tough season.  Yet, I'm not walking my purpose either.  Not yet.  I'm working towards it.  I'm exactly where the Lord has me to be.  He's preparing me for something bigger.  He's preparing my heart for my season of purpose as a foster mom again.  But, I'm not there yet.  This song still applies.  Blessed be His name.  Whether I'm walking a season of suffering or I'm walking a season of abundance flowing or even if I'm walking a season of in-between.  Blessed be His name.

My Dream

I attended Launch Out this weekend.  If you don't follow Jon Acuff on Twitter and Facebook, you should.  He wrote Quitter and Start and from those books and the conferences and Start Experiments he led, birthed a community of people that encourage dreams.  Sometimes our dreams run parallel to each other and sometimes they intersect, but nonetheless they are dreams and we are chasing them.  This community of people provide encouragement via Fb groups and Google hangouts and throughout these platforms, friendships are born.

This weekend, we met IRL for a conference like no other I've attended.  We didn't know the speakers until months after we purchased our tickets because only attenders could present.  We didn't know the details or the schedule until we arrived.  And that was 100% okay.  We were coming to meet friends.  We were coming to dream dreams.  We were gathering in Music City, USA to Launch Out into the Deep.  As David Dollar said this weekend, "Jumping is easy.  Leaping is scary."  We are all leaping.  Different directions.  Distinct pursuits.  Similar emotions.

My dream is to foster again.  I turned 35 this month and that number was a tad hard to swallow.  (Blah.)  I'll admit to being conservative and traditional and sometimes that means boring.  Well, being a single foster mom is NOT boring.  (I assure you.)

And, there you have it folks. That is my dream!

I've done it.  Well, part of it.  I've lived the dream of fostering.  It's hard and heart breaking and amazing and my heartbeat and disgusting and sordid and sorrowful and beautiful and loving.

I want to do it again.  But a little differently this time.  I want to be able to work at home and foster children and be all present when they need speech therapy and occupational therapy and homework help and outside tutoring and play therapy and doctors' appointments and....Kiddos from hard places need support, Y'all!  It takes a village in so many means and fashions, and I want to be fully present.  I want to be fully available; not just emotionally supportive but physically supportive with enough energy, too.  Well, as a single and as a teacher, this has not been possible.  It still isn't, yet.  But, one day.  My dream is to foster again, as a WAHM (work-at-home-mom.)  I am pursuing a network marketing business with Young Living Essential Oils to be able to do that.

I've always been on the low-end of the self-esteem spectrum.  I have a friend that tells me, "Well of course you're a single foster mom.  You're Alyssa Ross.  You can do anything."  She said "You're Alyssa Ross" like that meant something.  Like I was a somebody.  I've never felt like a somebody.  I'm the face that people don't remember meeting.  I'm the one that listens and works in the background with logistics and schedules and plans, but is never on stage.  I'm the one that organizes and gathers and instigates and then lets the extroverts help everyone to have fun and enjoy themselves.   But I'm learning that is okay.  I can be the gather-er and not the main act.  I'm still somebody.  I can be single and also be a foster mom.  Those life stages are not mutually exclusive.

So, that's my dream.  To be a foster mom.  In my own home.  Close to my family.  While working a job I love with a group of people I adore to serve the God who created me.

What's your dream?  Are you chasing it?  Join us.  We'll encourage you along the way!

Foster Care: My "Burning Building Why"

As many of you know, I have recently started my own business, Alyssa's Drop Shop.  It has been an exciting time full of learning and building friendships and watching my health and my family's health improve.

I first got into Young Living Essential Oils because J, my foster daughter, was not a good sleeper.  It typically took her an hour and a half to fall asleep and we were up 4-5 times each night anywhere from 20 minutes to over an hour.  A friend gave me a bottle of Lavender and told me to put it on J's feet.  I have never liked the smell of Lavender and had no clue how much to use (and felt stupid asking) so I put it in my spice cabinet and practically forgot about it.  (And continued NOT sleeping).  Fast forward about six weeks, it's 1:00a.  We haven't been to sleep yet.  I stumble downstairs and grab the bottle of lavender, willing to try anything at this point.  I put some in my hands and rubbed them on her feet.  She fell asleep a few minutes later, but I was skeptical.  Was it because it was now 1:30 in the morning?  Or was it really the Lavender?  So, the next night I put some more on her feet.  She was asleep in five minutes.  FIVE MINUTES, Y'ALL!  And we were awake only once that night for about 10 minutes.  Um, yes!  YES!  This I can handle!  Lavender is now my favorite smell EVER!  (Not really, but you get the point.)

When I found out that Young Living Essential Oils could also help with my seasonal allergies, I was hooked!  We had some ice days, and I headed over to Chrissy's house.  J played out in the yard with her kiddos while we talked oils.  I enrolled as a wholesale member to get my Premium Starter Kit and enrolled in Essential Rewards to get cheaper shipping and points back for free product.  I was thrilled!  We could start sleeping!  We could have some calmer evenings!  This was huge!

I didn't start pursuing the business avenue of Young Living for another 7 months.  I mean, extra money is great, but I didn't see myself as anyone that could possibly remember enough of how these products work or what to use them for or anything like that.  Our family hadn't been naturally minded previously and this whole new world was opening up and frankly....it was overwhelming to the extreme!

Well, I started seeing the benefits of YLEOs and I started seeing a little bit of income come in and I started learning about network marketing.  One of the things I started talking about with my team is a "burning building why".  WHY am I pursuing this business?  If I was standing on a rooftop of a building and my children were on a burning building across the way and I only had a small beam to use to get to them, I would not hesitate to save my children.  What is my motivation to grow my YLEO business?  WHY am I pursuing this as a business?

Yes, I love the products.  Yes, I believe in this company and the integrity they stand behind.  Yes, these products have helped my family and me with headaches, sore throats, sinus infections, cramps, sleeping, stress, emotional balance, memory, focusing, weight management, bug bites, scalp psoraisis, cuts, scrapes and so much more.  But, why am I pursuing it as a business?

Well, here's my burning building why.  I want to be a foster mom again.  My entire life I have wanted to be a Stay-At-Home-Mom.  I would love the grocery shopping, meal prep, laundry and homework help.  I would enjoy having a garden and going for bike rides after school.  Of course, traditionally being a SAHM means one is married and one's spouse earns enough income for this to be financially feasible.  Cue the background, in case you don't know, I'm single.  SO.  That's kinda always been a moot point  Not married, so no other income coming in.  And, not married, so no kids.  I mean...dur!

Except, I've been a foster mom as a single and while it was HARD, I now very much know it is possible.

And now a whole new world has opened up to me.  I can be a work at home mom.  I can earn enough income to cover my expenses and those of little ones that the Lord blesses me to know and love for however long they're in my home.  I'm not there yet.  I'm growing my business right now.  But it's coming.  My burning building why is to buy a home, go through the rigor-moral to get licensed again and open up my home to little ones that need love.  Yes, two parents is ideal.  But as a lovingly honest friend once told me: "One healthy parent is better than two abusive ones."  Truth!

So, if you're super skeptical about essential oils, that is A-OK!  I was, too!  If you're interested and have questions, I'd love to help you find answers!  If you're already naturally minded, then great!  But it's okay if you've never even heard the words "essential oil" and have no clue what they're for or how to use them!  I was the same way!

Maybe you also love foster care or adoption and would like to help support that.  I would love to talk to you more about that, too!  I believe the Lord has called us to help the widows and the orphans.  I take that call very seriously and Young Living Essential Oils are helping me to answer it!

Smiling through tears

Her precious laugh still rings in my ears.

I remember one day.  I had a meeting at the admin building after work and came back to school to pick her up from after school care.  I walked in the front doors and smiled at the worker letting parents in.  We were in the beginning stages of exchanging pleasantries when I hear "ALYSSSSSSSSSSA!" and turn to watch her run the last ten yards or so to fling herself into my arms.  I swung her around and we laughed at the joy of being reunited at the end of our days.  It was a day I will always remember.  Always.  The overflowing joy that she brought to my life.  The heart-smiles I was blessed to experience because she was there.

Her picture is in several places around my  home.  Throwing leaves up in the air when we went to Lake Ouachita last November.  Her school Kindergarten picture.  A precious, sweet one a fellow teacher made for me in secret on the playground at school when we knew she was leaving.  Her hand-prints in red paint for last year's Valentine's Day.  Her presence is every where.  Kindergarten had their nursery rhyme parade recently.  As these precious little ones walked in, I remember how hard she worked to practice Twinkle Twinkle Little Star and how proud she was to dress up in a pretty white dress with sparkles and put silver glitter in her hair.  I roll my eyes and laugh with Sara because her daughter and J poured glitter on each other and all over my classroom the morning of the parade while Sara and I were in a parent conference next door in Sara's room.

She left last year about 9:00a on Valentine's Day.  The transporter came to school to pick her up.  We had all of her belongings in my car and loaded all the boxes and precious items into the transporter's car and she chattered with her brothers after giving me butterfly kisses and Eskimo noses.  Then I waved, walked back into my classroom and away from my heart.

Valentine's Day is a day to love.  A day to laugh.  A day to remember the blessing the Lord has bestowed.  This year, I remember her and my heart smiles through tears at the memories we made.    

People Affect Us

Poof!  A cloud of flour and sugar puffed into the air when I turned on the mixer, and I was immediately transported back to a time, just a week or so together, that J and I were baking Lemon Squares.  I'd someone forgotten to raise the mixing bowl and the entire box of powdered sugar, it seemed, flew all over me, her and the kitchen.  Her eyes flew to mine, because she thought I'd be mad.  I laughed and tickled her and she ended up practically taking a bath in the sink since she'd been sitting on the counter to be able to see into the mixer and therefore was absolutely covered.  It was a fun, light-hearted moment for us, but a telling one for me, too.

She's on my mind all the time.  I'll see a Hello Kitty jacket and smile knowing how much she would like that.  I'll be walking around the creek by our house and see a little girl learning how to ride a bike with her dad and remember times we did the same thing.  She was in my life for 8 months, and she's been gone from me for 10 months now.  Longer than she was with me.  But she will be in my heart forever.  Her impact on my life was enormous, to say the least.  

We all impact the lives of the people we touch.  It makes me want to be sure I'm leaving the kind of lasting impression I want to be remembered by.

Life Change

I have decided to discontinue my work on my doctorate degree.  This has been a tough decision, because I'm not a quitter...yet, I'm quitting.  Honestly, that's been a point of pride.  As I met people and loved making contacts with people across positions in a variety of school districts, I was encouraged about the direction education is heading.  Let's be honest.  Some things need to change in education.  And I see some of those changes happening.  I see other changes on the horizon and it's exciting to see and to be a part of.  Yet, this degree was in Educational Leadership, meaning most people want to be a superintendent.  I do not.  So, the more I talked with others and the more I learned and the more we read books on leadership, the more questions I had about if this was where I needed to be.

I talked with a former professor, who understands my heart is vocabulary and teaching curriculum courses some day, and she said I would be pigeonholed into teaching educational leadership courses since many people with this degree are superintendents, thus universities need professors to teach these courses.  I don't want to be pigeonholed into teaching a course I don't want to teach.  

So.  I love the cohort model.  I love the idea of starting a process and seeing it through to completion with one group of people all along the way.  I am not a quitter.  But it doesn't make sense to stay with something that could potentially be the exact opposite of what I need.  So, I'm discontinuing the program.  

I was talking with a friend a month or so back.  My dad had just had triple bypass heart surgery and my grandpa's health was rapidly declining.  I said something along the lines of "This has been a rough couple of months."  My friend kindly, wisely and succintly said, "I think it's been a rough year for you."  

Well, now that you mention it.  J left in February.  I tested, applied and was accepted to a doctorate program in the spring.  I sold everything I own and moved in with my family in July.  I started a doctorate program in August while beginning my 13th year of teaching (We can definitely call August "busy season" for teachers.), my dad had heart surgery at the beginning of October, my grandpa passed away at the end of October and I'm quitting my doctorate in December.  Yes.  Yes, I think 2014 might have been a rough year.  Moving in with my family hasn't been rough at all.  In fact, it's been a humongous blessing.  But change, and some stress with the selling/boxing/moving of everything.  

I was talking with a dear friend on Tuesday and confessed I was limping along until Christmas break.  I love talking with her.  She's known me for over 10  years and loves me dearly.  It's nice to be known...you know?  She compassionately said she didn't think anyone would question it at all if I huddled under the covers and hibernated for a bit.  

Ok.  Don't mind if I do.     

Children provide writing material

I haven't posted in a long time.  I was thinking about that the other day.  How therapeutic writing was for the time J was in my home and then the time when she left.  Children definitely provide writing material!

Don't get me wrong.  Life has definitely not been dull since she left.  I applied and was accepted to a doctoral program.  I sold almost everything I own and moved in with my parents.  My dad had major heart surgery and my grandpa passed away.  Life has had it's ups and downs this past few months.  But I haven't felt the burning need to write like I did when J was being boisterous and fun or my heart was tender regarding something happening in her case.

Hmmm...maybe I'll start writing again anyway.  Or maybe something will happen soon that drives it. ??

My Second Mother's Day...

Last year, C arrived the Monday before Mother's Day.  She left the day after Mother's Day.  A few days later, I wrote this post about my first Mother's Day.  To summarize: it was HARD!

I have learned so much about mothering in the last year.  I have gained so much insight into the journey of foster care.  I still have much to learn, but I am not in the same place I was a year ago.

J came to my home June 12 and left February 14.  We celebrated my birthday, Thanksgiving, Christmas and Valentine's Day together.  We are not together for Mother's Day and as much as she had already started planning her Frozen birthday party, we won't be together for that either.

Everyone's mother is special to them in a unique way.  Whether you have a wonderful relationship or you have a strained one, your relationship is uniquely yours.  No one can take it away.  J always called her biomom "Mommy".  Always.  In the last few weeks she was with me, she had begun calling me "Mama".  Not all the time, but enough I knew it was purposeful.

I love her with a mother's heart, but she will not be with me this Mother's Day.  I hadn't thought much about it until today, but now I'm wondering if I should prepare myself to be a little emotional on Sunday.

My second Mother's Day will be one without a child.  And, frankly, that just feels weird.

Preparing for a Home Study

You've finally finished all the paperwork, and you are facing what to do for the home study.  Maybe your agency has given you a checklist and you feel overwhelmed at everything that is required or prohibited.  Or perhaps your agency has simply said, "Pay attention to what we say in all the trainings and do that."  Ummm...."that" was a LOT of information spread out over 30 hours of trainings over several months.  Say wha?

Either way, you're probably a little overwhelmed.

Here's my advice.  Take a deep breath.  You're ok.  You've made it this far!

Now.  Talk with another foster parent, within your agency if possible, but really anyone will do.  Figure out what "temperature" your agency is about the home study.  Are they going to be there for 2 hours per person in your family?  Or maybe they'll be there for 2 hours total.  Are they going to open cabinets and scour your refrigerator for expired items?  Are they going to expect your children to be available for individual interviews?  What are you expected to provide for them while they're there?

The more detailed they are, the more prepared you will be for the state inspection when it comes.  And, y'all, it WILL come.  My home study developer was not very detailed and I led her around showing her things I thought she should ask me about.  I didn't feel prepared when the state came.  (It was fun.  (I mean, it was fine.  By fun, I'm being a little sarcastic....but it really was fine.)  I was prepared.  However, I didn't know what they would ask for and what if I couldn't show it to them because I didn't have the mythical "it"?)

Some agencies want you to have a "disaster" bag with 3 days worth of food and water in a safe place in your house as well as one in the car.  My agency never mentioned anything like that.  My agency did want me to have a list of emergency phone numbers handy and the children in my home to know where they are (which I thought was ridiculous since J didn't know 911 and wouldn't have been able to give them my address even if she did know 911 and I wasn't going to teach her my address because her mom couldn't have it, but....whatever.)

So, preparing for a home study.  Bottom line: talk to other foster parents within your agency and see what the agency expects.  Talk to your agency is they're helpful and knowledgeable and the person you're talking to as worked there long enough to be able to answer your questions.  I personally have found that foster parents are more helpful than agency personnel, but every agency is different.

A list of things that seem to be "across the board" with agencies:
a fire extinguisher on each level of the home
no food on the floor (even in the pantry)
evacuation map posted somewhere
medicine locked up
Child needs a bed
Child needs clothes or you need to have a place for their clothes to go when you do get the clothes

See?  Not so hard.

My home study lasted 2ish hours.  The last 15 minutes she walked around my home.  The first, and major part, was the interview.  Everything from my childhood to how many times I'd moved to why I hadn't chosen to do in vitro if I wanted to be a mom. (No, I'm not kidding.)  We talked about the ages and ethnicities and genders of kiddos I was willing to take and behaviors I was or was not willing to have in my home.  We talked about my rules for food.  This is a major one.  Food has to be available.  If you're planning to lock the refrigerator, please do not get into foster care.

The home study seems to cause a lot of anxiety for a lot of people, and I think the reason I was nervous was because my agency didn't communicate their expectations well.  I know other people are nervous because their agency's expectations are so high, they aren't sure they've met them.

Don't worry about how clean your house is or how neat and tidy it is.  You may already have kids.   Your house will look lived in.  It doesn't have to look like you're trying to show it to new buyers.  Promise!

You can do it!

Out of Season

Y'all.  I published this post a few weeks ago.  In it I mentioned I was almost done with the Christmas soap and was excited to pull out the Spring smells.  Well, I finally finished the Holly Berry Wreath and Winter Candy Apple and reached in to bring out the Tangy Tangerine and Kitchen Lemon soaps...and instead I saw the Cinnamon Pumpkin that was half finished.  Ahhhh!

The Tangerine stayed under the sink.  The Kitchen Lemon is brightening my cooking days.  The Cinnamon Pumpkin is hiding in wrong-season shame in my master bathroom.  I can practically smell the Tangerine from here!

Child Friendly?

When I became a mom of a 5-year-old over night, I felt comfortable in many areas, but I was completely lost in other areas.  I asked many friends for help, and they came through with flying colors.  As I continue my series on preparing for foster care, I think this post will be very helpful to adults that desire to be parents, but are not yet parents.  If you're already a parent and opening your home to little ones that need a safe place, then this may not be as helpful to you since you've already walked the path of parenthood.

And with that, I'm just going to jump right in! :)

I had NO clue about children's clothing sizes or TV channels or movies (other than Disney).  I knew the obvious child friendly foods, but those were mostly snack items.  I needed ideas for child friendly meals.  I also learned I needed help with age appropriate apps and advice on toys that she would enjoy but wouldn't drive me crazy.  I wanted to have things in my back pocket for rainy day back up plans.  I just needed ideas!

So, I've compiled this list from my own experiences and those of friends who have parented awhile.  If you're new to parenting, you may find this helpful!

Food (child friendly, "typical" allergy friendly, etc.)

dipping and finger foods – 

      carrots in ranch

      nuggets in ketchup

     oven fries

     veggie chips

     granola bars

     cut-up fruit w yogurt dip 

     bananas

     clementines

     apples

     pretzels

     apple sauce packets

Relatively healthy “treats”:

     berries with dairy whipped cream (in the can – makes anything cool)

     fruit parfaits (made with  yogurt) 

     smoothies (made with yogurt)

Easy well-liked meals include:

     quesadillas 

     pasta and sauce

     pizza grilled cheese (add pepperonis to a grilled cheese sandwich) 

     breakfast (pancakes or French toast and scrambled eggs) for supper

     tacos

     sloppy joes

     simple soup (plain Campbells) 

     mac and cheese

     organic chicken nuggets (Costco)

     nitrate free hot dogs

     sandwiches (cute sandwich cutters that use everything but the crust may be helpful!)

     rotisserie chicken (most grocery stores have these heated and in "warming" stations for easy pick up)

Apps and Websites

     Duck duck moose 

     Hungry guppy

     Owlegories

     PBS Kids is a great place for younger kids to play games and watch videos.

     ABC Mouse is a preschool-kindergarten website

     SUMDOG is a great learning website for older elementary kiddos

TV Shows and Movies

     Phineas and Ferb

     Veggie Tales

     Disney Jr

     Nick Jr

     PBS (non-cable)

     Qubo (non-cable) 
     Redbox for movies and Wii games

     Amazon prime has lots of free streaming kid videos and shows. 

          ** be mindful of shows about orphans. 

                  This is by no means a comprehensive list, but I'd steer clear from:

                         Peabody

                         Stewart Little 

                         Despicable Me 

                         Series of Unfortunate Events

     Disney movies are typically well loved:

          This is all a matter of parents' comfort level. I personally thought very carefully about each story line before turning one on.  There are some scary messages and some child-specific messages that I wasn't willing to show.  

Clothing stores:

One thing I found is that some run small, while other stores' items wear out quickly.  Here's an easy list of what you can expect from kids' clothing stores!

Once Upon a Child/Kid 2 Kid all the way – use their discount programs, sign up for email and get discounts – sell back when you’re done.

Carters runs small

Children’s Place runs a little slim

     Children's Place has awesome deals on clothes.  They have a free rewards program and also 
     have coupons most of the time.

Old Navy runs big but can vary widely

Stuff from WalMart usually only lasts through one kid 

Osh Kosh and Levis that have lasted through at least 3.  

Champion tennis shoes are 1/3 the price of Nikes but we had one pair last a week and our used Nikes have lasted almost a year

Outside Activities

     bubbles

     shooting a basketball

     scooter

    parks    

    Grapevine Botanical Gardens

    Downtown Grapevine

    Heard Museum

    Frank Buck Zoo

    Grapevine has fun things all the time!! 

          Butterfly festival

          Thomas the Train

          Amazing Christmas stuff!

Inside Activities

     Grapevine Aquarium

     Cabellas

     Perot Museum
     Public Library (most have children's programs year round; some even have trails or ponds nearby that children enjoy)
     Family movie night (make it special with pallets or special comfy chairs, lots of popcorn, etc.)
     Family Game Night (board games, card games or Wii)

Specific Toys to Encourage

    Discovery Toys 

     MarbleRun

     transportation sorters

     Legos are huge (esp. with wheels and doors pieces)

     a couple puppets

     A Mini Tramp and IKEA tunnel are great indoor gross motor play

     Everyone needs a balance board too – got a cool one at Aldi for 12 bucks.    (Vestibular/balance input helps with emotional balance and control.)

     A dish tub with rice put down in a (dry) blow up baby swimming pool is awesome (just dump the spillover back into the tub when done – add extra kitchen measuring cups, small bowls and things to hide in it – we also put our Banagram letters in there. 

     Melissa and Doug (worth the investment!!) simple and minimal noise

     Chalk

     Arts and craft stuff

     Cars

     Dolls

     Montessori type play stations or busy bags (dollar store loot ;) 

**multicultural dolls, super heros, books....have a rainbow of cultures and races in your toys**

Specific Toys to Stay Away From (due to any number of reasons)

     Electronic toys

     Zhuzhu pets (they can burn skin and rip hair out)

     Anything small with a zillion pieces. Often too overwhelming for kids to clean up :(

Tips – 

   -  stuffed animals and kid things that say you can’t machine wash often survive the washing machine

   -  IKEA is a great place for kid’s stuff (esp. inexpensive gross motor and sensory play toys) – They have adorable cheap tents and play rugs. 
   - buy shorts/pants with the adjustable waist. (buttons/elastic inside to move as they grow)  It makes it so much easier for everyone.

Saving Grace Meals

Saving Grace Meals Menu

Saving Grace Meals was born out of a desire to help others in a time of need.  Maybe this means a family with a new baby by birth or growing their family through foster care or adoption.  Maybe this means a family going through a tough time for any number of life reasons.  I enjoy helping people out with meals, and it occurred to me that maybe people would like to have meals available more regularly, so I decided I would keep my freezer stocked and make meals available to be ordered.  Having dinner ready is a saving grace, don't you think?

Email me at savinggracemeals@gmail.com to place your order!

Entrees:
Large (Feeds 4-6): $17
Small (Feeds 2-4): $12

Chicken Spaghetti
    chicken, spaghetti, cheese-y goodness

Salsa Chicken Casserole
     black beans, corn, salsa, rice and chicken

Potatoes and Sausage
     exactly as it sounds....except yummier

Mexican Casserole
     beef or chicken

Chicken Salad **
     apples, pecans (optional), pickles and pickle relish plus family recipe seasonings make this a wonderful entree by itself or you can use it to fill a croissant

Chicken and Rice Casserole
     chicken and rice with water chestnuts makes for the perfect creaminess with a crunch!

Spicy Shredded Pork
     This is one of those melt in your mouth dishes because it has been in the oven for hours and hours and just falls apart.  It can be medium or hot depending on your preference.

Teriyaki Pork Sandwiches
     I provide the pork goodness; you provide the bread!

Deliciously Marinated Grilled Chicken
     Works wonderfully well to top the Spinach Salad or shred for tacos or just eat by itself!

Sides:

One Order: $10 (serves a family of four-six)

Texas Potatoes
     potatoes, sour cream, cheese...yumm!

Chili Roasted Potatoes
     diced potatoes with slightly spicy seasonings ready for you to roast and serve

Salads:
Large: $12
Small: $10

Spinach Salad **
     spinach, pecans (optional), craisins, goat cheese, pepperoncinis and a creamy dressing

Southwest Cornbread Salad **
      cornbread, black beans, tomatoes, avocado, red onion and cilantro with a light dressing for a           refreshing yet filling concoction of goodness

Grilled Chicken Caesar Salad **
     good 'ole classic!
     *add $2/person for chicken

Seasonal Fruit Salad in a Light Syrup **  $2.50/cup

Breakfast:
Blueberry Muffins: $6/dozen
Chocolate Chip Banana Bread: $6/loaf

Desserts:
Brownies: $6/pan
Lemon Squares: $6/pan
Triple Chocolate Chunk Cookies: $6/dozen
Snickerdoodles: $6/dozen
Dump Cake: $15/pan
     fruit pie filling of your choice
          apple, peach, cherry, blueberry


Most things I make will freeze well.  There are a few things that should be refrigerated and eaten more promptly.  These items are noted with **.

Delivery $4

April 13-14 Meals

Our family has a lot of family favorites and these are definitely a part of the list!  :)

Entrees

Mexican Casserole: Large: $17   Small: $12
      Your choice of chicken or beef ($1 more for beef)

Creamy Chicken Salad: $6/serving
     *includes pecans     

Sides
Texas Potatoes:  $10 (square pan)

Fruit Salad: $2.50/cup
     Fresh fruit in a light syrup

Desserts

Dump Cake: $15 for pan
     fruit pie filling of your choice
        apple, peach, cherry, blueberry

Triple Chocolate Chunk Cookies: $5 for dozen

Snickerdoodles: $5 for dozen

Brownies: $5 for pan

Breakfast

Blueberry Muffins: $6 for dozen

Email me at savinggracemeals@gmail.com by Friday at noon with  your order!

Meals for April 6-7

I'm pretty excited about this menu.  These are either long time family favorites, or I've tried them out this week and they're new family favorites.  :)

Meals:
Deliciously marinated grilled chicken $3.50/breast
     chicken breast marinated in a delicious marinade and then grilled

     (This is perfect to top Spinach Salad (below) or dice for tacos or warm and serve by itself!)

Spinach Salad: $6/serving
     spinach, craisins, pecans (optional), crispy jalapenos, pepperoncini peppers, feta cheese and a wonderfully creamy dressing

Southwest Cornbread Salad: Large: $10  Small: $8
     This salad is a light and refreshing salad with black beans, corn, salsa and cornbread.  I admit I first saw all the ingredients and found it intriguing.  My family absolutely LOVES it!

Greek Marinated Chicken: Large-$17   Small-$10
     chicken marinated in yogurt with fresh herbs and spices
     yummy to bake and serve warm or shred and add to below couscous

Lemony Cucumber Couscous Salad: Large-$7    Small-$5
     exactly as it sounds :)

Fruit Salad: $2.50/cup
     Fresh fruit in a light syrup

Desserts:
Dump Cake: $15 for pan
     fruit pie filling of your choice
        apple, peach, cherry, blueberry

Triple Chocolate Chunk Cookies: $5 for dozen

Snickerdoodles: $5 for dozen

Email me at savinggracemeals@gmail.com by Friday at noon with  your order!

Finding a Support Group

I'm going to be writing a series of blog posts on various fostering topics.  This one is first, because it is dear to my heart, and because my fingers seem to itch to write about certain topics at certain times, not because it's really "first" in the process of fostering.

Finding a support group is critical.  I grew up with my mom founding the Down Syndrome Guild and taking a year position as president of the Dallas chapter of the ARC (Association for Retarded Citizens).  She had dinner with others moms of children with disabilities on a regular basis.  They would meet to discuss upcoming ARD meetings and how they were fighting for the educational rights of their child with a disability.  Angela and I went to a monthly "Sunshine Kids" Friday night hang out time.  It was parents' night out, but it was specifically for families of people with disabilities.  They had counselors that would talk to the siblings and fun crafts and activities and sports that all the kids could be a part of.  I realize this has nothing to do with support groups for fostering, but I'm starting this off because I grew up with "support groups" being a regular part of my childhood, though we didn't call them support groups.

During the licensing process for fostering, there is a LOT of mandatory trainings.  They would encourage you to find a support group.  Find other foster parents you can talk to and seek information from.  I always thought it was ridiculous since they never told you about any you could join.  I mean, how am I supposed to find a support group?  I'm a go-getter and don't give up if I'm looking for something.  I'm also a pretty out-going personality, so I was able to connect with several other foster moms.  However, you know there are people out there that NEED support groups and aren't a part of one.  I just think it makes sense for agencies to have a list of some options.  Or maybe even offer for their own foster parents to use their facilities and meet occasionally.  Anyway, I digress.

I had just moved to Plano and recently started attending The Village.  I asked around on Sunday mornings about foster parents and was put in contact with Kristi.  We have a secret Facebook group.  This means none of our friends can see on their timeline when we post in the group.  Only members can post and you have to be invited to be a member.  We ask each other about doctor and dentist recommendations.  We provide respite for each other.  We ask each other questions about how to handle certain behaviors.  We meet once a month at someone's home and every one talks non-stop with questions about court cases and certain judge's or case workers or agencies or behaviors or foods or allergies or trainings or fire marshal visits or home studies or.....and the list goes on.  It's awesome!

One day, I was in pretty desperate need of child care.  J had come, but I had to go to work for a few days and needed someone that could watch her.  Kristin called and said Arrow (our mutual agency) had told her I was looking for child care.  At the time, she was a foster mom (she's now a forever mom, woot-woot!) and she was willing to watch J for several days.  It was AMAZING because Kristin is a former OT and has 5 forever kids and J LOVED going to her house.  It was a huge blessing.  Well, Kristin is a member of a different church and they also have a support group and I got connected with them, too.  We also meet once a month.  It's way closer to home, so it's easier to make these meetings.  This group also offers trainings pretty regularly and family fun nights each month.  It's great!

Both of these groups have their own personality and both of them offer something different, and I absolutely adore ALL of the ladies I've come in contact with.  We help each other with meals, babysitting, encouragement, a shoulder to cry on, a laugh and joyful yell when milestones are reached or court decided something that was truly for the good of the child.  We don't see each other daily, but we're in and out of each other's lives and provide knowledge, support, wisdom, connections and a plethora of resources to help each other walk this journey of fostering.

If you're not in a foster parent support group, I strongly encourage you to find one.  If you don't know of one, start one yourself!  Open your home.  Start a Facebook group.  Invite others that are at any stage of the process to join you.  Help each other out!

Want a new ____? What's wrong with the old?

Lotions?  Soaps?  Candles?  Conditioner?  Mousse?  Leave-in conditioner?  Eye shadow or liner?

I could go on and on.  I have bottles with one squirt used, bottles that are half empty, and bottles with only one or two uses left.  I have bottles that are still sealed.  These are bottles I forgot were there, so new bottles were purchased.  I have bottles I received as teacher gifts and bottles I bought myself.  I have eye liner pencils that are perfectly fine except when I needed it, I couldn't find my sharpener, so I bought a new pencil instead.  I have samples of products I would not have ever purchased myself.  I have multiples of one scent or brand because they were buy 2 get 1 free, you know!

I really do try to not spend excess money.  I buy economical brands or choose carefully if I'm going to decide to pay more money for a finer quality item.  As a teacher, lotions, fun soaps and candles are an easy, cute and fairly inexpensive gift, so they're very popular.  I used to keep the Christmas scented soaps in my Christmas decoration boxes to pull out next year since they weren't even half used...except I received more the next year, and then what?  As of right now, I have twisted peppermint, holly berry wreath, and winter candy apple soaps going at the kitchen sink and bathrooms.  They're almost finished and I can't wait, because I've already purchased fresh new spring scents that are sitting lonely under my kitchen sink just waiting to brighten the room with their lively colors and smile inducing smells.

I reached in my bathroom cabinet today for a bottle of lotion and stayed my hand because of how many there were.  I don't use lotion all the time, but I think there are currently 5 containers in some stage of use in my bathroom cabinet.  I'm positive there are more in my car and one under the sink in the half bath downstairs.  Throwing perfectly good items away is ridiculous.  Purchasing new scents just because they smell good is equally ridiculous.  My goal is to start using what I have regularly.  Lotion is good for my skin.  I need to be using it.  One person can only wash her hands so many times, so the soap takes time, but soon, very soon, I will be able to throw away and bring out the new.  Candles will be burning because they create welcome smells.  I'm out of my regular conditioner, but I have another bottle of a seldom-used conditioner that I will be using in it's place instead of buying a new bottle of my regular.  Perfectly good items need used.

I'm not allowing myself to buy one single item in any of these categories until I have made sure I don't have something else that will work equally well, even if it's not my favorite.  Being a good steward of finances means exactly that...not spending money when I don't have to.  We all have ways we'd rather spend our money.  I'm trying to get into grad school.  I'd really like to buy a house some day.  Yes, soaps and conditioners and concealer isn't expensive.  I get that.  But every $5 and $10 adds up and if more money can go in savings, then there is more in a down payment account later!

Next Week's Meals

Thanks to everyone who is ordering!

I'm learning a lot and enjoying this immensely!  I love hearing your feedback!  Repeat customers are the best!

I'm getting in the groove and am now able to post menus a little more in advance.  This gives you time to order and me time to plan and grocery shop! :)

Next Week's Meals:  These will be available for pick up March 30 or delivery March 31.  Please click here to order via my new order form!  I will email you a confirmation email with your order total within 24 hours of your order!

Dinner Entrees:

Teriyaki Pork Sandwiches (I provide the pork goodness.  You provide the bread.)
     Small: $10     Large: $15

Salsa Chicken Casserole
     Small: $15     Large: $17

Breakfast Entrees:

Breakfast Casserole (Sausage)
     Small: $10      Large: $15

Blueberry Muffins
     $5/dozen

Sides:
Chili Roasted Potatoes
     Small: $4     Large: $7

Desserts:
Lemon Squares
     Pan: $7

Brownies
     Pan $5

Logistics:
    Small feeds 2-4 people.
    Large feeds 4-6 people

Please place orders by Friday at noon.  You can place an order by submitting this short and easy form!

Thanks!