Thursday, August 09, 2012

Does God have a husband for me?

A friend and I were talking on the phone the other day and our conversation was reminiscent of so many others.

We're single.  And, lemme tell ya, that can cause some awkward conversations.

"Oh, HI so-and-so-younger-woman-I-haven't-seen-in-a-long-time-but-used-to-teach-in-Sunday-School, How are you!?  Are you married yet?  Gasp!  No? Well, why not?  What are those men thinking?"

How are we supposed to reply to that?

Even better is when they start giving platitudes.  "Well, when you stop looking, is when you'll find him."  or "I know it's hard, but you will enjoy the blessing so much more later."  or "Look at all the things you've been able to do because you're NOT married."  or "I'm sure he's out there somewhere.  God must still be working on him, because you're great!"  (Really?)

I just love when a friend who's been married, divorced and married again tries to give encouragement.  It's a little hard to take seeing as how they've gotten to have TWO men and I just want one committed man.  (I'm not trying to be disrespectful to the pain of divorce.  It sucks.  I've walked through it with close friends.  I know it sucks.  I'm just describing the flash of pain on the part of a single.)

Anyway, that's some back story.  I've always had a glimmer of something.  Not something I can really put my hands on, but...something.  That I may not get married.  The Lord may not have a husband planned for me.  When I tell people that, they typically react with surprise and more platitudes.  "Oh, Alyssa, you can't know that!  I'm sure He has someone for you!  The desire of your heart is to get married and you will be a great mom some day!"

With that kind of reaction, I've learned not to mention my glimmer of something very often.

Yes, I would love to have a man pursue me.  Yes, I would love to be found worthy of a man's pursuits.  Yes, I crave to be found cherishable and valuable in the eyes of a brother in Christ.  So cherishable and valuable that he wants to be with me for life.

Yes, scripture tells us in Psalms 37: 3-4

3                Trust in the Lord and do good;
    dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. 
Take delight in the Lord,
    and he will give you the desires of your heart.
Commit your way to the Lord;
    trust in him and he will do this:
He will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn, 
    your vindication like the noonday sun.
And so often, people quote these scriptures when they want something.  I have done it.  I have learned over the years though, that the Lord wants me to want HIM.  My purpose on this Earth is to glorify HIM.  He wants the desires of my heart to be to glorify HIM and Him alone.

Romans 15:5-7

New International Version (NIV)
May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you the same attitude of mind toward each other that Christ Jesus had, so that with one mind and one voice you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.
Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.

My prayer is that the desires of my heart will be to glorify Jesus Christ alone.  Yes, I'd love to be married.  Yes, I'd love to birth children and be a stay at home mom someday.  Yes, these are desires knitted in my heart deeply.  But, I am content with Christ.  I look to Him for my joy.  I seek Him for peace and contentment.  

Being content with where Christ has me right now, means I can live life now and not think I have to wait to live life once I have a husband.  I am free to serve Christ now, with whatever He calls me to do, because I'm not in constant waiting for what might be in the wings.

I'm challenging all my single friends...well, really any friends, to join me in this prayer.  Are you content with where Christ has you right now?  If not, start praying for Christ to show you Himself in an even bigger way.


  1. Hey Alyssa, this is my first time looking at your blog in forEVer, but I'm glad I did! Your honesty about this subject blessed me. Joining in prayer with you today for supernatural contentment, and for grace to deal with those frustratingly awkward comments in a God-honoring way.

  2. Thanks Tara! I hadn't written in forEVer, but I enjoy it (when the words flow!) I hope y'all are doing well!