I admit to being a little flustered on the timing of it all. My bed wasn't made. (It's never made. I'm not sure why that bothered me.) There were clean sheets on the floor in front of the washer that hadn't been folded yet. There were a few dirty dishes in the sink and mail scattered on the counter. Of course, random pairs of shoes were everywhere. Dad was grilling steaks and my plan was to head to their house. She had said she'd call back "soon." What does that mean? Should I race home and clean up? Are they going to call back before I can even get home? The gas light came on while driving to work this morning. Do I have time to go get gas? Should I still go over to my parents' for dinner? I'm in a Meltdown to Memorial Day challenge. The workout times don't work with the child care I have available. Do I back out? Find something else last minute? That doesn't work well when any babysitters have to be CPR certified with a background check. I don't want to let my team down, but the little girl has to become my priority.
I headed towards my parents' house, but stopped at Kroger for gas on the way. Just as I pull up to the pump, Arrow calls back. "CPU chose a family in Denton County. I'll call you if another little girl comes up."
Well, so life doesn't change today. And now I know "soon" means only about an hour.
I've heard from some other foster parents that it takes 6-8 calls before you actually get a little one.
I wasn't emotional at all after this phone call like I was after the last phone call. I think it was partly because the last phone call was the FIRST phone call, but mostly because I had to say no. I was turning down the opportunity to help a little one. That was HARD. This time, I said, "YES!" Whole-heartedly. I was ready. But I wasn't chosen. I have no control over that. I said, "Yes" and the Lord said "Someone else this time."
And, I'm okay with that.