My Dream

I attended Launch Out this weekend.  If you don't follow Jon Acuff on Twitter and Facebook, you should.  He wrote Quitter and Start and from those books and the conferences and Start Experiments he led, birthed a community of people that encourage dreams.  Sometimes our dreams run parallel to each other and sometimes they intersect, but nonetheless they are dreams and we are chasing them.  This community of people provide encouragement via Fb groups and Google hangouts and throughout these platforms, friendships are born.

This weekend, we met IRL for a conference like no other I've attended.  We didn't know the speakers until months after we purchased our tickets because only attenders could present.  We didn't know the details or the schedule until we arrived.  And that was 100% okay.  We were coming to meet friends.  We were coming to dream dreams.  We were gathering in Music City, USA to Launch Out into the Deep.  As David Dollar said this weekend, "Jumping is easy.  Leaping is scary."  We are all leaping.  Different directions.  Distinct pursuits.  Similar emotions.

My dream is to foster again.  I turned 35 this month and that number was a tad hard to swallow.  (Blah.)  I'll admit to being conservative and traditional and sometimes that means boring.  Well, being a single foster mom is NOT boring.  (I assure you.)

And, there you have it folks. That is my dream!

I've done it.  Well, part of it.  I've lived the dream of fostering.  It's hard and heart breaking and amazing and my heartbeat and disgusting and sordid and sorrowful and beautiful and loving.

I want to do it again.  But a little differently this time.  I want to be able to work at home and foster children and be all present when they need speech therapy and occupational therapy and homework help and outside tutoring and play therapy and doctors' appointments and....Kiddos from hard places need support, Y'all!  It takes a village in so many means and fashions, and I want to be fully present.  I want to be fully available; not just emotionally supportive but physically supportive with enough energy, too.  Well, as a single and as a teacher, this has not been possible.  It still isn't, yet.  But, one day.  My dream is to foster again, as a WAHM (work-at-home-mom.)  I am pursuing a network marketing business with Young Living Essential Oils to be able to do that.

I've always been on the low-end of the self-esteem spectrum.  I have a friend that tells me, "Well of course you're a single foster mom.  You're Alyssa Ross.  You can do anything."  She said "You're Alyssa Ross" like that meant something.  Like I was a somebody.  I've never felt like a somebody.  I'm the face that people don't remember meeting.  I'm the one that listens and works in the background with logistics and schedules and plans, but is never on stage.  I'm the one that organizes and gathers and instigates and then lets the extroverts help everyone to have fun and enjoy themselves.   But I'm learning that is okay.  I can be the gather-er and not the main act.  I'm still somebody.  I can be single and also be a foster mom.  Those life stages are not mutually exclusive.

So, that's my dream.  To be a foster mom.  In my own home.  Close to my family.  While working a job I love with a group of people I adore to serve the God who created me.

What's your dream?  Are you chasing it?  Join us.  We'll encourage you along the way!